Dark Angel Twin Flames
There are many philosophies surrounding the Twin Flame topic. Many believe a Twin Flame is the one you’re meant to be with, in a long-term romantic relationship. Others believe a Twin Flame is someone we’re meant to meet in this lifetime to exchange some deep healing. Many also believe we’ve run into our Twin Flames throughout many Lifetimes and that one day, both parties will finally get it right!
As with all spiritual “expertise”, there are many interpretations on this subject (note: I believe there are no experts, merely guides whose take on things may inspire others to heal different layers and levels).
As someone who works frequently with others on the Twin Flame topic, as either a Psychic Reader or Holistic Counsellor, this is my take on the darker side of Twin Flame connections - the ones I call Dark Angel Twin Flames.
A Short Story
Imagine you’re out for the evening with a small group of besties. One of the people in your party recognises a few people they know and at some point, your group starts to mingle with theirs. What you weren’t expecting was to notice - and I mean really notice, someone special in the group. You keep making eye contact and it feels like there’s some sort of electrical current running between you!
You go to the restroom, because you need a moment to process this and when you come back, the feeling is even stronger. You find yourself naturally gravitating to this person (or they to you) and you begin a conversation that just flows. Of course, you exchange numbers before the night is out and both of you leave feeling pretty good about the whole thing.
You feel the universe shift and you somehow know you’re about to start a big adventure with them…
Weeks later, and you’re now besties with this person and it feels like they’re someone you’ve known for lifetimes. When you’re not talking all night on the phone, you’re together. When you’re not together, you’re usually thinking the same things at the same time.
You may have even noticed cool similarities, like their dog’s birthday is the same as your cat’s. Or both of your ex partners were the same star sign. You both might even notice numbers like 11:11 a lot and you text each other about it for a giggle. You might even say it’s meant to be!
Months - or even years later, the connection is stronger than ever, even to the point where things feel off if you’re not regularly with them. It feels even worse if you haven’t heard from them for some reason - and when you do, you feel replenished again.
Even an unpleasant conversation with them brings a strange sort of comfort. Even when they’re going through a bad time and they’re pushing you away a little, you’re willing to sit in reserve for when they need you. Even if the connection has become abusive, for better or for worse, you may feel like you need this person in your life.
You feel like you’re just not ok when they’re not in your orbit. You may even feel terrified about what might happen if they were to leave you. You’ve cared for others in the past, but you’re never felt this strongly about anyone - and it hurts.
Get Curious and Quizzical
Now let’s just stop the story here and be curious for a moment. This is one of the classic Twin Flame scenarios where something so good can go so wrong. This little story describes many of the symptoms people have experienced when they’ve connected with a Dark Angel Twin Flame.
Obviously, there are other Twin Flame scenarios that can go beautifully, but today we are focusing on a concerning aspect that warrants discussion, with the hope that it empowers people.
Before we go into the remedy, let’s wind it back first and consider how people might feel about themselves at the time they met a potential Twin Flame. I suspect what is going on inside for each person at the time, is a big tell on the outcome (Twin Flame energy can really knock us off our centre).
If you feel you’ve met your Twin Flame - or if you meet someone in the future and you suspect they’re a Twin Flame, here is a little quiz for you:
Q: At the time you met this special person, were you:
A. Feeling pretty good about yourself in general. You may not have had every one of your ducks lined up perfectly, like your finances, or the perfect work environment, and so on, but you had actually liked yourself for quite some time. Also, regularly investing in your wellbeing was important to you.
B. Finally feeling ok. You’d been hurt in the past and you’d spent a good portion of time healing your wounds. You were finally starting to feel good about yourself again and knew you had tools and a support team at the ready to recognise unhelpful situations early on.
C. Feeling “neither here nor there” about falling in love. You’ve worked through past hurts a little, but since you cotton onto concepts quickly, you’ve found you generally don’t make the same mistake twice. You may recognise that not everyone requires deep insightful healing to put healthy practises in place, as learning can happen in many ways.
D. Usually feeling a bit flat. You were trudging through the trenches of life like many others and had good things to enjoy on occasion. You’d been hurt before and you generally avoided any type of introspection or relationships, for whatever reason.
E. Feeling rotten in general. You had only really ever known toxic people and situations. You had been badly hurt many times and couldn’t really fathom anyone being nice to you anymore. If someone does show interest and appears to be genuinely really nice, they’ll stand out to you and you’ll just know they’re the one.
Whichever question you answer, just know you’re not alone in your situation. On reflection, there have been different periods in my own life where most of those scenarios have applied.
Vibes, Tribes and Choices
When it comes to navigating successfully through this life, we can lean on our natural aptitude for some things, but there are skills and lessons we need to learn along the way. And some of these lessons require the involvement of others coming into our orbit.
When it comes to any type of Twin Flame, I feel the expression “your vibe attracts your tribe” really applies. The answers to choose from in the quiz outline a just handful of vibes people put out, based on how they feel about themselves and the world.
If you are beaten down by life continually, have lost tribal membership and so on, it is only human to lose a healthy sense of self. Unfortunately, the resulting vibes you put out unintentionally, can be a magnet for a Dark Angel Twin Flame.
Now, some people are able to recognise when they get to a very concerning low point and choose to commit to building themselves back up. The priority is not to find love right now, but to find and maintain their balance first, regardless of what life throws against them in the future.
But most of us just won’t try this sensible path initially! The human heart isn’t sensible. It can be quite brattish when it wants what it wants. And we will often abandon our inner wisdom and maturity for a dose of romantic love, because love is deliciously potent. Whoever or whatever designed the human species made sure of that, when pheromones were conceptualised!
Perhaps some of us weren’t taught to prioritise self-care, or haven’t been aware that we have the right to choose the type of wellbeing help we receive (nb - the first practitioner or modality isn’t always the right one for you, so don’t give up!). Others feel shame, guilt or other emotions at the thought of even reaching out for help (sometimes due to social stigmas they’ve been exposed to).
Many people can really flounder and I can understand the feeling of hopelessness that comes with that.
When a Dark Angel Comes to Visit
When we aren’t taking responsibility for our wellbeing, or if we are in a period of our life where we are desperately craving love, sometimes someone very attractive to us comes into our orbit. We begin to feel all the feels, we open up and let them in.
It feels so good to have someone who appears nice at the start and they continue to show a lot of pleasantries along the way. We begin to dance on air, because feeling this good is refreshing.
The potency of the connection is strong and we begin to block our intuition. We begin start looking for validation that they’re “the one”, despite that niggling little voice inside and we start using words like “Twin Flame” when things get deeply serious. We then begin to overlook any red flags and justify how these red flags can be allowed to override personal values that were once important to us. It becomes a swift, downhill ride from there.
Some Dark Angels come in the form of extreme narcissists. Others may be quite nice to be around, but are essentially seeking others to fulfill needs such as coercive sex (rather than mutual consent), money, an unpaid therapist, a wingman on call when the “cooler” people are unavailable (yes, it can get very high-school with Dark Angels!) and so on.
Other Dark Angels have so much baggage and simply can’t function without a partner. They may gladly play the part of Twin Flame, or use other forms of manipulation to keep people in gilded cages, such as withholding love as form of a punishment, or love bombing all over again, or throwing us regular tidbits to snack on in our cages, to keep us from searching for the key.
I often wonder if the term “Illusory” Twin Flame is more apt. How can using and abusing even be equated with an Angel? In a Biblical sense, a fallen Angel is one who needs to go through a series of tests to reclaim Grace. Stepping on others to reclaim that Grace is not the way - and it is not our job to cut off our own wings so others may fly again.
The Dark Angel Twin Flame’s function is to help us choose ourselves, no matter how potent the connection may be. Dark Angels push us well beyond our limits, so we can finally learn to tame childish passion and learn to love others in wisdom. As Mercurio says to Romeo, “Love Moderately”.
Perhaps, eliminating the words “Twin Flame” (and especially “other half”) leads to a healthier perspective. Candles burn bright, but flames go out. I personally prefer the analogy of pitching my self-supporting tent next door to someone special’s tent and enjoying the view together. Sure we all come with a few rips and tears in our tents, but none that can’t be threaded up securely, with care and confidence.
Sometimes the best remedy is prevention. Going back to the quiz, options A, B and C may be used as a guide to maintain a healthy sense of self. A Dark Angel Twin Flame is less likely to be pulled into our gravitational orbit if we foster strong personal values, have a healthy sense self, aware of how we operate in sticky situations and incorporate emotional self-care into our wellbeing practise.
Learn to love yourself so damn much (healthily, not arrogantly!), so that you place a higher value on flying solo to protect your peace - versus accepting mistreatment from others for the sake of having someone. Recognise your human need for love, but don’t let it be the “be all and end all”. Personal freedoms, joy and peace are worth choosing over the quick-fix, not-quite-right, or emotionally unavailable scenario. You’ve got this!
If you’re struggling with making self-honouring choices around relationships and are ready to take those steps towards loving you more, please reach out.
