The Pursuit of Wholeness
As we pursue the process of Ascension, does it create more unity - or segregation?
Across the span of time, many have sought a way to achieve wholeness by taking on spiritual and well-being practises. Wholeness can mean feeling at one with ourselves, the community and the belief systems we resonate with.
It often requires a dedicated commitment to being the best version of ourselves. When we work towards this, we are rewarded with experiencing overall contentment and a sense of purpose on this Earthly plane - with the added bonus of attracting in more positive external outcomes in our lives.
This timeless pursuit of spiritual wellbeing can be found in the wisdom of so many cultures, the ancient Vedas being among my favourites. In more recent times, the wheel has been reinvented and we now hear terms like “holistic health”, “raising our vibration”, “practising presence” and “spiritual ascension”. There are a multitude of teachings in the modern era, that may assist with this process, some even marrying science in nicely with the spiritual aspects.
One aspect of working towards wholeness requires letting go of unhelpful perceptions and behaviours. It can require some brainstorming work, especially journaling (scroll to the end to see some beautiful journals I recommend). I like to think of this step as renovating a house. We remove or fix that which is old and outdated, including our own shadow behaviours. We clear out the emotional cobwebs and psychic debris that has accumulated over time, then we refill our inner space, as though creating a fresh artistic work on a beautiful blank canvas. In fact, our inner renovations are a lifelong pursuit, with upgrade, after upgrade (I hope you like redecorating!).
On top of this, we also need to consider any unhealthy external influences we’ve allowed into our lives. Ideally, we’d like to enjoy harmonious relationships with everyone. That line from the beautiful, non-secular poem “Desiderata” comes to mind here, “As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons” (if you’d love to know more about this powerful, but simple philosophy for the good life, I highly recommend this book on Desiderata - this is an affiliate link that supports me if you make a purchase).
However, as we grow and change, we become aware that we no longer vibe with certain companions, nor they with us, possibly. When we start to make more self-respecting choices, we are often confronted with the fact that some of the people in our past have behaved or treated us in a way that is no longer acceptable to us. Some of our behaviours haven’t been great, either. A breakthrough in consciousness is created and we have the opportunity to make some healthy changes.
I have seen many clients, friends and even myself getting to this stage, but it’s easy to become stumped. How do we maintain unity and healthy connections, while continuing to clean up our own act? There are other challenges you may face too. For example, those who experience acute loneliness after backing away from unhealthy ties, may find this stage quite difficult.
For many, it comes naturally to periodically reach out to people they know they shouldn’t. We may do this either for “old time’s sake”, or to fill other needs (that we come to realise we don’t really need!). It can be helpful to remember we risk more of the same negative experiences if we “paddle in the old waters too long”. If you feel a situation is on repeat, then just don’t go there. You know where it leads. Working on your self-care and self-love is imperative if you get to this point - this is like a full time job, so trust me, you won’t have the headspace to be lonely, once you commit to this process!
In contrast, others prefer to go all out and radically cut all connections that aren’t vibing. Cut, cut, cut! This is what self-care sometimes demands and it makes more room for those who resonate with the new, improved version of ourselves - after all our vibe attracts our tribe, right? I admire people sticking to their guns, but this path may entail unnecessary disconnection, as we can get so good at cutting, we may judge others too harshly for minor flaws. Also, it’s a long wait for the new arrivals. When we weed a garden bed, the reality is that new seed germination takes time, let alone waiting for the flowers to show up!
Before we go on, I did want to mention an Instagram account I love, with powerful, punchy quotes that may help strengthen your resolve during more challenging moments: https://www.instagram.com/herupliftingquotes/?hl=en However, its good to be mindful that some well-intentioned memes may not apply to your individual situation.
So, how do we find a balance of unity with others and ourselves while becoming whole? While each and every scenario differs - and some connections are simply not safe to keep - the path of compassion is the answer.
Firstly, we need to work on our self-compassion. This entails keeping a wide berth around us and limiting contact with certain people, while we heal and grow. The period of isolation is not forever and what if you found joy and increased energy by going within and establishing firm roots?!
Remind yourself, that while we are designed to be social creatures, it’s ok to have different types of connections, eg. “for life, a reason or a season”. All connections are put in our path to help us learn something about ourselves - and to understand others too.
It would also help to have to compassion for others. There are no toxic people, in fact that’s an ugly word to call any human being. There are only toxic pasts, events and choices that have made people behave the way they have towards you, others and themselves. When we look at people through the eyes of compassion, as a whole package, we may see they’re suffering too and there’s reasons behind their behaviour.
This does not mean we accept unfairness or unkindness from others, nor should we take on a form of spiritual snobbery and look down on them because of where they’re vibrating in contrast to us. We simply need to accept that people are where they are on their own self-development journey. And if you need to step away, trust that other angels will step in and guide them when you can no longer carry them.
Finally, if there are people you have in your life because of obligatory work or families ties, or for other reasons, here’s a few tips for harmony: is it possible to put your hurt inner child feelings aside and suggest a mature conversation, aiming to address the elephant in the room, with each party constructively owning their 50% and being prepared to re-set new boundaries? Then everyone can get on with enjoying the happier aspects of the connection.
If taking some accountability isn’t an option for them right now, how about this for an idea - expressing healthy boundaries to others is ultimately helpful to them. It may take a while for them to get used to your new boundaries, so be prepared to adopt a broken-record method, but you are no longer enabling any unwanted behaviour towards you. This then leaves them room to hopefully self-reflect and grow.
And lastly, don’t feel hurt if people “won’t change for you”. This says more about their sense of self-worth, than yours. All you can do is “be the change” and trust in the process.
I do believe that working on our wholeness brings unity and connection by proxy. In perfect timing, our tribe, or romantic partner will come along. It is possible to enjoy evolved, respectful relationships - once we nurture a loving relationship with ourselves first. We hear this all the time, but when you begin to experience just how content you can actually be, we no longer resist being at peace within ourselves and begin prioritising blissful time alone. Social connectivity then becomes the icing on the cake - because you are the cake, baby!
Journals I Highly Recommend - to record your progress * insights on your journey:
My Spirit Animal is a Wolf Journal by Rich Mystical Life
Five Minutes in the Morning by Aster
The 365 Spiritual Journal by Zen Mirrors, C.W.V. Straaten, Illustrations by Famke Dijk
(These are affiliate site links that support me if you make a purchase).
If you enjoyed this read, feel welcome to tip me on Ko-fi. This helps me acquire more products - for more reviews!
